Plucky Survivors See Europe: For the Gaze

I started researching things to do in the various cities I’ll be visiting in Europe back in March, but information was scant at that point for things like shows, events, concerts, and the like happening over the summer. It still is, but things are starting to be announced so I’m going through each city and checking calendars and abusing Google. What I’ve found has driven another big change to my itinerary last night and it’s because, in the immortal words of Jennifer Coolidge in “White Lotus,” “The gays are trying to kill me!”

I am going to not one, not two, not three, not four, not even five, but now SIX pride events across Europe on the trip. I swear I only meant to go to two of them.

The first that I incorporated into the early planning of the trip is London Pride, which is supposed to be a lot of fun, with a big parade and a festival with a concert in Trafalgar Square plus other events.

The second was World Pride in Amsterdam, which includes a parade, a festival, several concerts, and a mass wedding. Don’t worry, I’ll only be a groomsman, not a groom.

I didn’t build the itinerary around those events, but I did use them as touchstones and the rest of the road trip route took a shape that allowed me to do them both.

Everything else was a coincidental bit of timing.

After I leave Berlin, I spend a few days in Prague and then go on to Vienna for a weekend, which just so happens to be the weekend they are hosting Vienna Pride with a big parade and festival.

The week before London I was planning on being in Paris and that coincides with the Paris Pride Parade. Although they haven’t announced much detail, it seems like it’s mainly just a parade and some smaller events around the city. The good news is it runs about two blocks away from the hotel I had already booked.

I was originally going to do Portugal first and then swing back around to Barcelona, but then I realized that doing it the other way meant I would be in the right place at the right time to go to Barcelona Pride. That one also hasn’t published much info, but it past years there has been a parade, a festival, concerts, and more.

So, that’s five (Vienna, Paris, London, Barcelona, and Amsterdam). Six popped up last night.

When I first started planning the trip, Rome pride was going to be the week before I was going to be there. As I started looking up shows and concerts in Rome during my stay, the big thing that was listed was… Rome Pride. Apparently, they moved it for some reason and now it’s happening while I’m there – the parade starts a block from the hotel I had already booked. I had originally planned on going to Naples for a couple of nights and then on to Rome, but now I’ve dropped Naples and added a couple of days in Rome to accommodate some of the other events that are supposed to be happening.

This is all kind of ironic because I don’t usually go to Pride parades or events here. I worked in the bars in West Hollywood for a long time and soured on them a long time ago – too corporate, too exhausting, too judgy. If you have anything over 1% body fat, the pretty gays throw garbage at you.

In Savannah, it’s a much more casual affair – the point where there isn’t much to it (no offense to the people who work very hard on it). And the last few years I’ve been busy, so I haven’t been able to attend much of it.

But attending Pride events in Europe appeals to me. I’m sure they’ll still be big and corporate and exhausting and judgy (only they throw stale scones and baguettes), but a confluence of me getting older and the world getting scarier in its attitude toward the LGBTQ+ community makes me feel like it’s important to show up.

Growing up gay in the 1970s and early 1980s in the conservative Midwest was not easy. There were no parades in Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

Being a young gay man in the 1980s and early 1990s was traumatic. I made it through the worst of the plague years but lost a lot.

In the intervening decades, it felt like things were getting better. The world was becoming more accepting. Pride parades almost felt irrelevant.

Now, though… anti-LGBTQ+ laws are being enacted across the country and around the globe. Pride festivals are being cancelled or scaled back because of lack of funding or threats. Hate crimes against our community continue to increase. People are scared and they have every right to be.

So, I’m going to show up to six Pride parades in Europe. Why? Because I survived this long and this much and I still can. Who knows how long any of that will be true?

And who knows… maybe I’ll meet a hot Italian or Spanish guy who I can marry in the mass wedding in Amsterdam. I wonder if they’d let me write a Hallmark movie about that.