Plucky Survivors See Europe: Beware of Banana Peels

In general, I’m kinda paranoid about things and usually expect the worst to happen. I don’t like to call myself a pessimist, although others might. I prefer the term realist. Remember, I’m the guy who got second degree burns from mashed potatoes, had a spotlight fall out of the ceiling onto me, and tore the meniscus in my knee by slipping on a banana peel.

In short, bad – often comically bad – stuff happens to me a lot, so expecting it to happen doesn’t make me pessimistic, it just means I have a track record and I have learned to respect it. What’s the saying? Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.

So, as I prepare to embark on a 10-week road trip through Europe, I am hoping nothing bad happens, but I am aware that it might and taking as many precautions as possible to ensure that it doesn’t.

I got the new luggage. It’s a bit smaller than the other new luggage but it is top opening, which will make it easier to use, and those cup holders are freaking adorable. From a security perspective it has TSA approved locks, and I ordered QR code luggage tags, which are supposed to be more secure than just a regular tag that anyone could read and get your personal info from.

Each of those bags, my backpack, and my cross-body sling bag are going to get an Air Tag and second tracking device that’ll be less obvious as a tracking device. It’s about the size of a credit card and can easily slip into a wallet or the lining of the luggage where thieves might not discover it.

I also got a trackable passport cover/wallet with RFID blocking and a “slim wallet” that will slip easily into my front pocket for quick jaunts.

The aforementioned backpack and sling bag are both theft resistant. They are made out of slash resistant material and have lockable zippers, slash resistant straps with a metal cable that runs through it, another lock that allows you to put those slash resistant straps around the leg of a chair or similar, and RFID blocking.

I’m going to be making copies of all of my important documents – passport, driver’s license, international driver’s license, insurance card, prescriptions, and the like – and keeping both a hard copy with me and uploading them to a secure place on the interwebs.

Similar documentation will be made for all my valuables, which is mainly my laptop and phone. I’m leaving the diamonds and furs at home.

I have signed up for alerts and travel advisory notifications from MyTravelGov from the State Department. I have a very low level of confidence that it will help me in any way, but I figure it’s better to have it than not. I’ve also made a list of contacts for all embassies and consulates in the countries I’m visiting and will be keeping hard and digital copies.

Once I pick up PluckyMobile, I will most likely head to a nearby electronics store and pick up a dash cam. I have taken every insurance coverage possible through the rental car company including 100% coverage for collision, damage, and theft; damage to the windshield, glass, lights, and tires, which apparently doesn’t count in the overall coverage; interior damage; and extended roadside assistance.

In other words, I am as prepared as I can possibly be when things inevitably go wrong.

Now, if I can just avoid those banana peels.