Plucky Survivors See Europe: From Here to There (Part 2)

The last post covered the itinerary for the first month of the trip, with stops in Berlin, Prague, Vienna, Venice, Milan, Florence, Naples, Rome, Genoa, Zurch, Dijon, and Paris. Let’s take a look at what happens in month two!

At the end of my five nights in Paris, I will be parking the car at the airport and flying to London for six nights. This is a place with another very long list of things to see and do, but some highlights include the National Portrait Gallery, the British Antiquities Museum, the Tower Museum, the Cartoon Museum, the Gallery of Everything (outsider art), the Museum of Brands (as in product brands), the Queer Britain Museum, the London Dungeon, and a neon sign museum called God’s Own Junkyard.

I’m also going to see “The Devil Wears Prada” musical with Vanessa Williams, seeing Duran Duran at a big concert in Hyde Park, and checking out the London Pride festival and parade.

I fly back to Paris, retrieve the car, and immediately hit the road for 232 miles to Luxembourg, although it wound up being an unfortunate issue of timing for most of what I wanted to see and do there. The Playing Card Museum, the Museum of Human Rights, and the Museum for Historical Vehicles are all closed on Mondays and guess what day I’m going to be there? I may be able to see one or two of them before I hit the road the next day, so most of my time in Luxembourg will be of the wander around and gawk variety.

Back in the car for 149 miles to go to Frankfurt for one night. There, I plan on visiting the Dialog Museum (which is devoted to providing experiences for the sighted to understand vision impaired lives better), the Museum of Applied Arts (outsider art), the Museum of Modern Electronic Music, and maybe a car museum.

The next day I travel 127 miles to Stuttgart for one night. This will include visits to the Pig Museum (yes, a museum devoted to all things pig, including eating them), and either the Porsche or Mercedes museums (since I probably won’t have time to do both).

On the way to my next destination is the town of Ulm, Germany where there is a bread museum and if you think I’d miss that, you must be toasted or something. But the overall trip on this day is 235 miles with an ending point of Salzburg, where I’ll be for one night. There, I want to see the Christmas Museum, the Schloss Hellbrunn fountains and mechanical theatre, and the Mirabell “Dwarf” Gardens.

From there I will travel a very short 89 miles to Munich, where I will spend two nights. My list there is long with intended visits to places like the Oktoberfest Museum, the Museum of Contemporary Art (which focuses on street art by people like Banksy), an art and design museum, and the BMW museum to round out my German car tour.

After Munich, I’m traveling 279 miles back to Italy for a one-night stay at Lake Como. I don’t have a lot on my agenda there other than sitting on the terrace that is supposed to have a beautiful view of the lake. George and Amal have asked me stop by, but I’m not sure if I’ll take them up on it.

Then it’s on to the Riviera with a 224-mile jaunt to Nice for two nights. I don’t have a lot I want to do in Nice proper, but it is a great jumping off point for excursions to Monaco for the casinos and the Prince’s Palace, the Museum de Escoffier (food museum) in Villeneuve-Loubet, the Postcard Museum in Antibes, the Kitsch Ceramics Museum in Vallarius, the International Perfume Museum in Grasse, the House of Chocolate and Cocoa in Roquenbrune-sur-Argens, the Butterfly House in St. Tropez, and the House of Photography and Lock and Key Museum in Toulon.

203 miles will take me to Montpellier for one night, which is more of a convenient stop than an actual destination. Wandering and exploring are the primary things on the agenda there.

From there I drive 214 miles to Barcelona for four nights. I want to see the Labyrinth hedge maze, the Museum of Chocolate, the Erotic Museum, the Hash Museum, the Pinullet Cheese Shop, a digital arts museum, the Banksy Museum, and the usual suspects like Las Ramblas, Sagrada Familia, and Park Guell. It’s also Barcelona Pride that weekend so there will be a festival and a parade.

Next, I will drive 216 miles to Valencia for one night, where I will go to the Cathedral to see the Holy Grail (and make Monty Python jokes under my breath) and the City of Arts and Sciences museums.

The following day will be taken up with driving, the longest jaunt of the entire trip to go 441 miles to Torremolinos on the southern coast of Spain. My intention is to drive along the coast and enjoy the view, taking my time to stop at whatever interesting things I might spy on the way. I’ll be in Torremolinos for three nights, mainly to relax and explore but there will be a side trip to Gibraltar, which is about an hour away.

Relaxed and refreshed, I will do my second longest day of driving, going 426 miles to Lisbon. On the way, I intend to drive through Seville and see the Flamenco Museum and visit a convent where nuns dispense candy through a turntable built into a door, so you never see them. I love odd stuff like that.

I’ll be in Lisbon for three nights where I want to see the Castle Museum, the Museum of Architecture and Technology, the Puppet Museum, the Lisbon Earthquake Museum, and the Doll Hospital Museum. I’m also intending to catch a Fado show while I’m there and explore the neighborhoods I might want to live in if the US ever gets too scary and I need to emigrate to a different country. Portugal is at the top of my list, even though I’ve never been there.

Then I will drive 198 miles to Porto for two nights. There I will visit Livaria Lello (billed as the world’s most beautiful bookstore) and explore other potential places to live.

After Porto, I head back to Spain for an overnight in Leon, which is about 246 miles away. This is another convenience stop rather than a destination to visit, so it’ll mainly be about exploring.

Another 208 miles will take me to Bilbao for two nights. Even though I’m not big on art museums, I do want to visit the Guggenheim for two reasons. It’s supposed to be visually stunning from an architecture standpoint, and I just sold a movie to Hallmark that is supposed to take place there, so we’ll call it research.

And yes, I intend to write the entire trip off on my taxes.

That wraps up the second month of the trip. Only two weeks to go but lots more to talk about.

Next: The third and final part of the itinerary!